So, back
in my third semester (why am I talking like Ted?), I moved out from the room
where I was with 5 of my friends in a place called Mariyappa Nagar in the
second semester as I had some issues and problems at the last month with them.
And also I was not comfortable being in a group after all. The thing is, they
expect each and every frickin' thing that you do should be, you know, kind of
Shared. It's like you lose your freedom totally. You can't do anything on your
own. I wasn't all through uncomfortable there but there are some certain
moments where I can't tolerate being there. And when the semester came to an
end, there occurred a problem during the search of the next Room for the
following semester as the House Owner of the current residence didn't like us
staying there.
Luckily,
one of our friends Ramesh was living a street back where our house was. He only
became friends during the end of the semester and he was once (when I not
having any fights or something) telling me that he was looking for a Roommate
and this came to me as a bit of an advantage so that I moved in with him in the
3rd semester. Simple as that, if it hadn't been for him, I wouldn't ever have
had to write this in the first place.
As I
said, this place is something very peaceful with my House owner's home in the
front and trees like Coconut, Sapota, Mango, Citrus surround the house. It is a
three roomed home with a Kitchen a Hall and a so-called bedroom. Rooms are very
small, not anything to boast about, but are cool. It is a perfect place for two bachelors to
stay and do their studies (well not all the time), well, it is one heck of a
place to be precise. It is a great place though.
(Dude,
there is nothing that you're saying relates to the title? You telling the story
or what? )
Yeah,
I am getting to it. As I said, I moved here and things were normal. The toilet
was clean, pipes didn't leak, and floor didn't break down. One sudden day,
there was something on the toilet that caught my attention. My roommate was not
in the room. I was called by the nature (if you catch my drift) and I answered
it like everyone does. For that I had to enter toilet and to my surprise and I
saw something weird inside. Near the toilet, or whatever that you call the
whole setup, I could see a brown squeezed-out version of pickle-like thing. I
was puzzled. What could it be? So, after I answered the call, I poured water
into the toilet along with this and got out. Then I didn't have the necessity
to keep this thing stored in my memory cell.
This
went on for a few days. Whenever I come back from my classes I will get to see
this. I will just flush water to get rid of it. And one day I started to think
about what it was. My first doubt was that it was a Frog's excreta. You know
something? There are so many frogs near my room and there tends to be more
moisture in the toilet so frogs love these spots and tend to stay here more
often. As the doors of the bathroom and the toilets don't cover till the floor,
the frogs enter inside freely and stay inside. So, whenever we had to use the toilet,
we had to get these frogs out first and then we can occupy the restroom all for
ours. But they do come back before we finish, that's another plot. Let's just
not go there. All I could believe in was that the black thing was frog's
excreta and I was satisfied having this the answer to the puzzle. I wanted
these black-things out of the toilets ASAP. We had a packet full of salt that
we were not using for the whole semester like our books of that semester. What
I did was, I put all the salt into the water exit pit which was the only way I
thought the frog was coming because the size of the excreta made us decide that
the enemy that we are looking for is a Giant one. I thought that salt harms the
frog and it would eventually die because, I have put 'the salt'. Maybe it was
my own imagination, I didn't know whether it was really a fact or not.
After
I did this masterpiece of mine "the salt pouring" I was free from the
excreta. I was happy that I had some detective skills of my own that I can brag
about. I told my roommate that I had got rid of the giant and now we didn't
have to clean the toilet every time we were to use the toilet. I loved going to
the toilet that day because, it was giant-free.
Has
this ever happened to you? You are so content that you have accomplished
something and something devastating comes following. For example, say, you have
secured a State rank in your High School (yeah, a hard example) and just before
you enjoy that, someone comes and tells you "False Alarm, you're not
it". How would you feel? Well, it's kind of how I felt when I got to know
that I really haven't gotten rid of the filthy frog.
Then
later one day, I came home and I had to go to the toilet, hard to be telling
about my bathroom stories, but anyways as I entered the toilet, I was not aware
of anything that was already in there. But, something was. It was there, inside
the water hole of the toilet marble or whatever they call it. There it was.
Peeking half submerged in the water inside the toilet. It was when I gave out
my rare "Ew!" Boys never find anything so gross so easily that we
never have the urge to use the ew-word. But there it was. My Ew. I mean, the
creature was completely wet and it was in that very small room that had to be
the one of the two rooms that we had utter privacy (the other being the
bathroom) but this creature was just making that wrong.
What
was that? I dragged myself towards a corner of the toilet and looked closely. I
got to know what it was. A sewer rat. It all made sense now. The excreta. It
was of this guy's. I had made illogical assumptions till then. A Giant frog? I,
myself, looked stupid at that moment. This was exactly a sewer rat. It seemed a
little different as it was forcing itself out of the toilet water to run away
somewhere. Not only me, it was also having me around there. I had disturbed its
privacy. It had a long nose, I could make out what its species name was. I was
not generous enough to make him feel at home rather I ran out of the toilet (of
course with my pants still on). Few moments later, Ramesh came and I explained
what was in there. He casually went in and took a look.
He
came back with a simple answer. 'It is a Monjoor' he said like he knew it so
well. I still can't figure out what it is called in English. We were talking
about what it was and how it came there and solutions came as everything was so
simple. We discussed on how lame we were to think of the excreta was of a frog
and that too a big, giant one. Stupid. This talk ended soon. I was thinking to
go criminal with this one. Neither of us had a gun, don't worry.
We
had to kill it. But how gross would it be if a rat runs around and you try to
kill it, just not a good idea. We tried flushing the toilet with buckets and
buckets of water. But it was of no use, it was capable of breathing under water
for a relative amount of time. We could estimate that, after all we were
students. It definitely should have had some oxygen mask or something in that
water. Maybe it had gills, I don't know.
I
asked Ramesh, 'How about we make some hot water and pour it down the toilet'.
It was so rare that we kept hot water for us to even bath in the winter, but
there I was, asking him to make hot water for a freaking rat.
He
agreed and we did make some in the electric cooker that we had for our cooking.
I knew it was a chance that had only small success rate. But we carried on. The
first attempt seemed like a victory, the rat was gone after we poured the hot
water down the toilet. Soon before we could enjoy the victory the bastard came
peeking out again.
'Damn
you, evil little rodent' I told myself. Ramesh had already begun attempt number
2. He was making the hot water again.
I
was still checking on this rodent's activities. What does he think he was doing?
Maybe he didn't have a path down the toilet, or else he would have been long
gone now.
Meanwhile
the second round was good to go, Ramesh was standing behind me with the boiling
H20 ready to throw it at the monster, or maybe that was just a scared soul, I
don't know. Humans, we don't just care about what happens to these animals or
rodents. Once we establish our territories, none can enter but us.
The
round two was the end of the game; we were successful in getting Mr. Sewer out
of the house, or mainly the toilet. He probably would be happy in a different
toilet. You deserve that much, Rat. Ours was not even a penny's worth to you.
Ramesh
went back to his routine, but I had something else to do.
I so
badly wanted to go to the toilet.
And
as the doors close behind me, there is a dim light where I sit down and....
You
don't wanna hear more than that, this itself is more than enough to make myself
embarrassing!
So,
this is the biggest gap I think I have ever took between my time between the
blogs, I don't know. Just not feeling good enough to be typing these days.
Anyways,
hope I made you smile at even a slightest place. Well, if I haven't, no miracle.
Happens ALL. THE. FEAKING.TIME.
Regards,
Guhan.
