Over the last few years my social
life has been quite well. So in all those years, the people who know me know
what kind of a person I am. They have their own set of opinions of me. Some
think I'm a brainiac, intelligent, and a clever guy. Some think that I'm a
good-for-nothing, nonsensical idiot. Well, to me, the latter seems aptly
perfect. Frankly speaking, being stupid is the only thing I'm good at. Even
though people have their opinions, there is always a truth, right? I'm what you
call a true moron. I mean, academically; especially mathematically.
So here's how I was in the schools. As a normal kid, I was
a very subtle and normal. I had no troubles reading and writing (in case you
were wondering whether I had dyslexia). I was not entirely mischievous or
entirely a cry baby. I was what you'd call a Common Kid. I did memorize the
rhymes and the numbers and the alphabets. Just like every child, I'd recite it
whenever a bored adult wants me to. (Yeah, when I got older I understood that
it's annoying after a certain extent. Children are not moving rhymes-tellers,
people). I used to obey the teachers' orders (ha ha!) and did home works as
they asked me to. I don't exactly remember how my academic performance was
until this KGing (The Kinder Gartening).
All I knew was that they made me write the exams in a slate wherein I would get
100 marks for whatever the heck I wrote on the examination (Yes, even in
mathematics).
Later on, you know I switched schools once in every three
years. In Ahmedabad my schooling experience was totally different. The staffs
were to be called "aunties" and not miss/ma'am or something.
Schooling is different in North India compared to what I had experienced in
Tamil Nadu previously. When I went to get admission in a school named Vandhana
for my third grade, they had asked me to write an entrance examination in which
I Sucked big time. (I mean, why would someone conduct that? Asking a third
grader to give an entrance exam? Were they nuts at that time?) They had a
question paper with every subject's questions lined up to screw my little
brains up. But the crazy thing is that, I wrote only what I knew or what I
thought I knew. I was in a room all alone staring at the questions they had in
room for me asking my brain whether he could understand anything. My brain had
the perfect monosyllable answer. NO. It was true. I didn't know answers to most
of the questions, to be clearer; I couldn't even understand some of the
questions.
What would I do? I was a kid, yo.
Then, after much of trying hard to write at least something, I came out writing
only the ones I knew and told the staff that I didn't know the answers to the
remaining. They were disappointed. Their faces frowned. All they gave my mom
was a "No-indicating" headshake. NO again. Then my dad came and a guy
from my dad's office came and talked to this lady who was like 65 years old. We
called her the "Moata Aunty". (Moata means Big I guess). Finally I
got in somehow when my dad who knew someone who knew someone knew this aunty. I
had to be recommended by someone just to enter a school for third grade. (Where
is this world going?). And yes, the questions that gave my brains a hard time
was those from the Mathematics (Stupid Mathematics.)
Then, we got transferred to Tirupur. Tirupur was a wonderful
place and I had an awesome school there. The transfer was kind of late and us
moving to Tirupur got delayed by few weeks when all the schools in Tamilnadu
had already begun. When I joined in a school named Universal, the midterm exam
was to begin. The exam was the very next day from the date I officially joined
in the school. As I had predicted in my mind, I failed in Mathematics. (Stupid
Mathematics). It was a tricky exam though. (Well, kind of). Then the following
two years were fine. I was one among the top rank holders.
There was one time when our school gave badges to the first
the rank holders. It was in the geography exam I think; I had written an answer
so stupid that it was not even an answer. It was a question about Australia
where I wrote: "I went to Australia and met the cricket captain Ricky
Pointing" and blah. So, the sir has corrected it giving the question 0
marks (obviously). I secured the fourth rank with a difference of two marks or
so from the third rank holder. That was the first year when the badges were
given. I was pretty sad that I don't get to get the badge. Guess what I did. I
went to this Geography sir and cried. I asked marks for this answer. He read
the answer. Just imagine him reading this stuff in his own subject answer
paper. What would he have thought? He read the answer.
He looked at me. My eyes are wet
with tears. I'm trying hard to catch my breath with all the crying (Yeah, Guhan
was a Cry-baby. Please don't laugh). He tut-tuted and then gave me the marks. I
don't actually think I was at my best then. Hardly a day goes by when I'm not
stupid. Let me capitalize that for you. STUPID. So, here you have it. A sample
from my life in my own words. Tirupur academics was not like this the whole
time. I did study good. Made mom and dad proud (He He!). Had a good row with
the teachers. Got scolded for mischievousness. Practically whatever a teenager
would do. Actually, my mom was a teacher in the same school. She even took me
classes. Now that I think of those times, my schooling had actually been such a
wonderful thing. My Mom is going to be taking courses for me? Now isn’t that
the dream!
Academics went smooth up until I was in my eighth grade.
There was this one fellow who would just….just…just… hit me hard every time.
His blow would be massive. This guy is not just my enemy but he's enemy to a
billion more people like me. The Mathematics. I was good at mathematics till
then. When 'finding x' and 'trigonometry' started interfering with my syllabus,
my screwing in the Math started getting bigger. Even though I secure good
scores in subjects, math would screw me right in my head (not head). My
Mathematics teacher told me once to secure centum at least once, but no I
failed her. I even got to 99 but never a hundred.
Even in my tenth Public exams, I messed up real bad that I
got only 89. I had committed mistake in the easiest part of the whole question
paper. The graph. Technically, it's not that I don't understand Mathematics or
something. It's just that I'm way too careless while doing the sums. I think
I'm doing it right but in real the sum knows that I'm going to Srilanka on the
highway to Delhi (I have a Delhi tour this next month, so only this pun. Did
you get this pun? Read again if not). Tenth was not the only grade where
Mathematics was tough for me. As times ran, Math just got harder and harder. My
carelessness grew stronger and stronger. Some of you might know that I am a
highly absent minded guy. To make things worse, my carelessness acts up real
good when it comes to doing math problems. So, with my Carelessness and my
Absent-mindedness, you have a superhero : Mr.Math Moron. Or you can call me
'The Triple M', similar to Triple H of the WWE. (Dude, Triple H was not a
superhero. Do you even know what you are talking about? You're clearly taking
nonsense. Just get to the point already).
In my high schooling, Mathematics was like a local rowdy to
me. It would bully me up. It would decrease my grade, scores and self
confidence (of course). To make a long story short, (Guhan, you're making it
short? What a miracle!) I screwed up in my twelfth Mathematics also. Secured
132 out of 200. *applause* (Everybody, Let's give it up for Raja Guhan). Yeah,
my academic side graph has gone through a gradual minor fall. And Mathematics graph,
let me not talk about it (Stupid Mathematics).
Yeah, academics has always been good to me. Mathematics has
always been a villain to me. Now that I take this whole thing as a flashback,
what we study and how good we study is not a matter at all. What we learn is
what that's important. Schooling is just not about the marks. It's about the
stuff you actually obtain that's needed for life. Mathematics is also the same.
Yes, Mathematics has everything to do with your life. Getting to know the sum
is like getting to know people in our life. Working the sum is like making
decisions. And the solution obtaining is the happiness. That's what is essential.
Life is complete with that. Maybe If I had been more careful in Math, my
decision making in life would have been better now. I might even have found the
'love' (Yes, I'm Single) of my life. You get the point.
Actually, I have no idea where this is headed. I started
something, wrote something else in the middle and now I'm taking about life? Man,
I got to get a life, don't I? Anyways, I'm glad that you've read till here.
Thanks. Now that I've had a Tom and Jerry Life with academics and the
Mathematics, my life's gonna be awesome. Because I've faced so many hard times
and I've come across them. I have faced them Strong enough. Dear Life, whatever
struggles have for me, shoot them. Shoot them right to my face. Maybe I won't
be able to dodge them without getting hit. But I will get up after getting hit.
That's for sure. Mathematics has taught me that. Thank you, Mr. Stupid Math.
(Stupid Mathematics)
I guess,
this is how much I can torture you for this post. Bye! :)
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